Form: Annie Chen Attachment Quiz

1. I can lose the sense of who I am in the relationship.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
2. I have a tendency to neglect myself in the relationship.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
3. I make compromises that I later feel resentful about.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
4. It counts only when my partner does something for me because they want to, not when I had to ask for it.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
5. When I ask for something from my partner and I get it, I can still feel unsatisfied.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
6. I feel misunderstood by my partner.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
7. When my partner falls through on a promise, I can take it very personally.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
8. I find it upsetting when my partner perceives something I do as unloving even though I mean really well.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
9. I worry about whether my partner and I are fundamentally too different.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
10. I struggle for a long time before I will ask for help.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
11. When I imagine my parents, it's difficult to picture either of them looking back at me in an adoring and proud way.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
12. It really gets under my skin when something feels unfair in the relationship.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
13. It's easy to balance separateness and togetherness in the relationship.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
14. My partner can change and grow as needed, and it's not a threat.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
15. It's easy for me to make commitments to my partner and honor those commitments.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
16. I need my partner as much as they need me.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
17. If something is not working out with my partner, I can be patient and wait for the right solution to present itself.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
18. We can have conflict even though neither of us is at fault.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
19. I tell my partner everything. If there's something I haven't mentioned, it's because I'm absolutely certain it wouldn't bother them.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
20. When my partner and I disagree, I commit to finding a win-win solution.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
21. When I put my needs on hold so I can fully hear my partner, I'm confident those needs will eventually be addressed.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
22. I can just ask my partner for what I want, and it usually works out one way or another.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
23. When my partner and I fight, I take the lead to help us both feel okay again.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
24. When past relationships have ended, it was a mutual and well-considered decision.
Rarely True
Sometimes True
Often True
25. It's harder for me to be patient when...
People aren't understanding me.
I feel stuck doing something I don't enjoy.
26. When beginning a new relationship that could be significant, it's a deal breaker if the person...
Doesn't make an effort.
Comes on too strong.
27. Conflict is...
An opportunity to get something off my chest.
Usually unproductive.
28. When I get upset at my partner, I...
Have to express myself to them.
Prefer to figure it out on my own.
29. In the relationship, I'm at my worst when I feel...
Abandoned or rejected.
Pressured or intruded upon.
30. In the relationship, I want to feel...
As connected to my partner as possible.
At ease.
31. When I'm overwhelmed, I feel better when I...
Vent to someone.
Find distraction in something else (exercise, substances, work, etc.).
32. There are certain things I don't tell my partner, because...
They could get upset and reject me.
It's my business – they don't need to know.
33. My partner is more likely to complain that I...
Criticize and find fault with them.
Am not as engaged as they want me to be.
34. When we spend time apart, I...
Feel sad or lonely.
Feel relieved to have time to myself.
35. When I feel hurt by my partner, I recover...
When I get what I need from them.
Pretty quickly on my own.
36. It would upset me more if my partner told their friends...
Nothing about me.
Something embarrassing about me.

The presented answer sheet is not an original form and is not intended for printing or use as a handout.